I am not who I once was. Neither are you.

2/21/2021

Well, there we have it. All the love in the entire universe and only one way out. Through. Through the cosmic mess and into oblivion. Through where you thought you wanted to be, and where you have come to, for now. And to what extent? Where are we off to? There seems to want to be some common goal. Well, to put that to shame, I can't see it. What I really want or where I'm headed. I know what I want right now, but as for tomorrow? I can kind of guess. I sort of know what I will want. Ish. Ish, meaning I knowish. I wantish. I think I want that unless you tell me a better thing I might have.
Except, with love. I don't want a better you. Or a better me, really. I think I do sometimes when I'm sick or upset. Or I think I could have done better. But, I wouldn't want to change you, or me. I'd rather just speak of peace and from truth. I'd rather just share more of what I do want and go on from here. If we can't really control anything, and just need to choose again, then, why not rest into it, and relax. Hope for the best and reach for it constantly. Then, when whatever happens takes shape, you'll know it's what was meant for you. So, instead of struggling to be consistent, I'd rather be bold. And if you want to speak up, I would love to hear it! Because I want to be heard. And seen. For the parts of me that I love. I think that might mean loving and showing the parts I've been trying to hide. If I'm bold and you don't want to hear it, then I hope you run and hide. Because I will not back down.
I love what everyone wants the most, really. I love for you what you love for you. I will not bash down your door with my love. But if I love you enough and you're hiding, I might. But, I'll bring you a smile or your favourite dessert. If you want company in your mess, why not reach out? Why not be willing to? And for that matter, why not reach out to someone who isn't willing that you know needs a friend? Are they going to respond? Maybe not, but at least they know you're there. For when they do want a hug. And. For my last scenario, I was the friend who wanted to run and hide, but now I've flipped my switch. To being the instigator of love. Which side is better? They're both lonely.
At least we have forever to figure this out. And at least I can trust that I won't hide this time. That the sun will come out and shine again. If there is truth in it, it will become real.
For some who were not hiding, this won't be true. But for me, I'm just coming out of hiding to see a hiding world. And, I want to create a balance within that. So if I use my voice in strength, maybe someone else will want to hang out. To see what we can do with love today. To see how we want our vision this time. And to stand around and laugh about our bigger cosmic aspects. That we came here to dance, and not fight. So let the dance begin and cause such a stir that it becomes loud with laughter. Let's cause our cues to become, sshhh be quiet I've had enough fun for today, rather than, I hate what I've become and need to drink and hide. That was me for a while, and now I want to say this one more thing.
I wanted you there with me, more than you'll ever know.

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Opening up to see the light.

Dear ones, this will have been my first blog post of many. I hope it suits you well to know that, at this time, I am in Kitsilano, Vancouver. I am beginning again. I will be sending out a newsletter often, so if you had signed up for Alana the tattoo artist, know now that it is remaining, but also alongside Alana the channel.
I will also say that, for some time, I have been procrastinating my blog till now! So come one come all and feel what I have been privileged to have learned. It is continual as well, so check in often for new content.
Here is what I will describe for day 1. Business as usual, I was up before the sun came up, channeling and singing into what is to come.
My vision is this. A set of agreements to myself that I will,
1) Speak up
2) Say it with heart
3) Invite others to comment as well
4) Conclude that there will be, no conclusion to these never ending tides.
From there, I begin.
Today is not only the first day of my blog, but also the first day I will publish it. No surprise to me, I have no idea how this will be done. I guess I'm about to see.
Thank you to the spirit realm, and guides Saint Francis Assisi for my deep lesson today in the tricks the minds can play when the heart isn't watching.
The heart is not always watching, you see. But it is always aware of something. Today my heart wanted me to play deeper, challenge softer. And speak more. Today is the day I start.
And since I have already begun much before this new website has, there will be a lot to unfold.
For now I leave you with this prayer.

Have heart, dear traveller, that you are the one you need the most. Never regret the past, for it has brought you the present, and will assist in your future. Never deny your short comings, for they may be the path toward your rareness. Your uniqueness is always a gift, no matter how brave you have yet to be.
In Light, yours,
St. Francis Assisi