Well, we did one, a cycle through a class. Fifteen people came, and we had a. Like, we had no idea what was happening. We could only really know so much, as we always do in life. You make plans for things, and it just unfolds the way it does. And, it was incredible, it was just, we didn't know why. We had no idea, and it was four days ago now, that I can start to see, why. Why it was we didn't know. It was mostly because, it was our first formation to it. I say a broad we because it was my two co hosts, Tayama, Barb and I. Also the group, including a drunk person. And, spirit realm. We don't really say come one, come all for nothing I guess. So, the drunk person had a lot of questions and, a couple might have been a bit insulting when the group session wasn't actually about answering the questions. The questions are welcome though. The answers were not. I am not in the game of answering questions. Especially the big ones. Why are we here? Who are spirit guides? I think I know sometimes, but my inner world is full of surprises on a good day. So to start answering big questions.... but, like I said. They are surely welcome.
My honest answer is, "Right?"
Because, who are we? And how do we know what we are headed toward? I think it's within our dreams. And, our choices, as I always say. The choice to show up drunk to a guided meditation and ask bold questions. The choice to commit to not answering, and still lead a call that is filled with question marks. I believe it cajolted something within us, if that is even a word. That we can indeed explore our inner realm in deep connected repatterning. To a higher and broader sense of ourselves. I can't commit to saying I know it. When you ask, what is Gaia realm, I'm going to ask you to speak to her yourself. You might not see her the way I do. You might see something or someone completely different. But, I am sure curious to see that too. Are we creating ourselves or being created? Both. That, I will say with confidence. But, come to my class and ask me bold questions and I will say, why don't you take silence with me and listen. That is what I'm doing, and I am inviting you to the silence. To hold your own heartspace, not mine. But, I will share mine if you can't find your own. I will share your prayers to and ask for them. We share consciousness and one mind. One soul. When we do this together, I have to say, it was mindblowing. The after math was a deep healing into a realm of possibility. I believe we all have choice to go as deep or shallow within it. My channeled offerings are just that. An invitation to find the space of silence. And when you find it's not so silent after all, I'll say. "Right?"
Self discover is an ongoing mission and the bravest of us will continue with the questions, and not clench too hard to the answers. We wouldn't want to cut off that growth. We wouldn't want to want, to not continue. We must in fact. That was the only other thing I might claim to know. We move on. And up. But, it might feel hard at times when we're moving through something. I trust that on the other side of that wall, is your gifts. More of them if you already know them. As I journey deeper and wider, I am finding out more about myself. My ability to receive. My ability to love myself and others no matter what. And that wasn't always easy for me. It was easier to walk away when things went quiet. Confusion sets in, and then, I walk away. But, what if we stay, and remember. Oh yeah, I was confused before too. Maybe it's ok. Maybe it is part of the growth dream. How do we grow? Through confusion toward clarity. The forgiveness method is my book. It is now being published. I know that a lot of it is about confusion, and so, I just know that.
I know I'm confused a lot. I know it isn't always a good day for me to share, because I might speak from confusion. That might be a lot. And, I might also say, I need space to hold with other in that. I want to create places where we can be confused and say it, then move together with our intentions, toward a right mind. Healthy choices from clarity. Choices made from confusion scream ego. Choices made with clarity ease the ego and allow for its health. I always thought, what about the ego? Are we really supposed to erase it? Or, can we corral it into health? Our egos are actually limitless, and our perceptions of our patterns are the things that destruct that ability to reach upward. What if we help the ego learn that the higher choice is the best one, and it can decide what day, what colour, what print, what make, what model. The clear ego can make everything better. With a spiritual clear choice, to learn a new skill, the ego can decide, which school. How to get to school on time. Which choices, from which places in us? The choice to stay small is not an ego choice, it is the ego listening to the subconscious patterning. Clear that, and choose up. Then what? A bunch more questions show up. To what end?
I'm not sure. Let me know if you find it. Curious.
Opening up to see the light.
Dear ones, this will have been my first blog post of many. I hope it suits you well to know that, at this time, I am in Kitsilano, Vancouver. I am beginning again. I will be sending out a newsletter often, so if you had signed up for Alana the tattoo artist, know now that it is remaining, but also alongside Alana the channel.
I will also say that, for some time, I have been procrastinating my blog till now! So come one come all and feel what I have been privileged to have learned. It is continual as well, so check in often for new content.
Here is what I will describe for day 1. Business as usual, I was up before the sun came up, channeling and singing into what is to come.
My vision is this. A set of agreements to myself that I will,
1) Speak up
2) Say it with heart
3) Invite others to comment as well
4) Conclude that there will be, no conclusion to these never ending tides.
From there, I begin.
Today is not only the first day of my blog, but also the first day I will publish it. No surprise to me, I have no idea how this will be done. I guess I'm about to see.
Thank you to the spirit realm, and guides Saint Francis Assisi for my deep lesson today in the tricks the minds can play when the heart isn't watching.
The heart is not always watching, you see. But it is always aware of something. Today my heart wanted me to play deeper, challenge softer. And speak more. Today is the day I start.
And since I have already begun much before this new website has, there will be a lot to unfold.
For now I leave you with this prayer.
Have heart, dear traveller, that you are the one you need the most. Never regret the past, for it has brought you the present, and will assist in your future. Never deny your short comings, for they may be the path toward your rareness. Your uniqueness is always a gift, no matter how brave you have yet to be.
In Light, yours,
St. Francis Assisi