My experience with Mother Ayahuasca was profound. In Peru and within a well held class with friends of all ages, including little ones. But, they didn't take the medicine. We were just all in one pot. Babies need tending to, while mothers need healing. What to do?
What about this vaccine? We have a problem with a sudden solution. And not everyone agrees. What to do?
Sometimes I'm not sure about where I stand on things that don't encompass truth. If there is a lot of possibility for myth within a topic, I steer away naturally so I can find it, for myself. Where do I stand on the vaccine? I keep wondering. I want to visit my mom, so I would get it if she preferred it. I want to go to Mexico to pick up my dog and if the government makes me get it, I will.
I will only get this serum if someone makes me? But wait, I stand for freedom. I relate to freedom with every other topic. Do what you want and live free!
Except, you're closing the borders to me if I don't get this injection.
Well, honestly, I did a little research, but how to really know still? Read this, listen to an educated human tell you their opinion.
So, where do I stand on it? I don't want to get it! I so don't want to get it. Especially if I have to do it so another is comfortable. I just stood outside my own comfort zone for a year in preparation for some big decisions. I will just buy my own plane then, and go to Mexico.
No, not really. But, I'm rooting for the opposition when they help us look in another direction. I might not agree with all the hum drum of life, like conspiracy yada yada. I believe in freedom, remember? Freedom of choice! Get that vaccine if you want it! Protest your limits if you want! I don't agree either way. I can't. I haven't had my own honest to goodness experience with it.
Maybe I'll call my mom and ask her if she minds if I don't get it. That will be my new and old law. Mom, are you okay with my life choices?
If she says yes, I'm NEVER getting the pin prick.
I'm never going to fall unless my mom is wanting me to. I don't think she will. I think she wants me to be proud of myself.
So, my decision is to stay silent on the matter and not confuse others with an unreformed opinion. I will listen though. If you had a messed up, or real experience with the vaccine or anything else. But that will have been yours to experience.
In a world full of choice, I commit to mine, until I'm good and ready to change it.
I've made a few choices recently and found myself alone in them. Well guess what. They aren't changing. I am just going to keep at it until people do want to join in. I know I need others, but, I also love my life enough not to conform. And if I'm sitting all alone in a world where everyone conformed except me, I'm not going to believe it. Where is the herd in herd mentality?
I always picture this group herd of people, and but, when I go out into the various avenues of my life, it looks like everyone is, for the most part, thinking on their own behalf. Some people share a similar stance on the vaccine. "I'll get it if it makes my life easier."
That sounds like leadership to me. You had better things to worry about and bigger things on your plate than sacrifice some impolite battle. Or, maybe the battle is yours and you're passionate in it. I like and love both sides. I love passion, people. If you are standing against something, I would love to know why. But, I can't watch it on the news. Maybe a Ted Talk? Or maybe in person. My curiosity rouses to experience in thought. I'm not big enough to experience everything under the sun, and I know I might not attract a need to worry about the vaccine at all. I don't go to big events. But, I might. If I'm not allowed to go to things I want to go to, fine, I'll get the dang injection. But, I'm not going to worry that the serum is going to control me, or have adverse reaction. I'll just trust, that we are all in this together. We obviously needed to learn some lessons in this world, together. About silence and rest. About speaking up at the right time and where it counts.
So, what hurts? Silence when you need togetherness, and stillness when you hoped for action.
What is awesome and great? Silence in the heart and stillness of the mind, always. Constantly.
We need to hit these choices with softness and love what we chose, otherwise we regret.
Let the questions come up though! Even after a big choice. Wonder, "Should I have done whatever I just did?" And then just, do something else.
What I'm saying is, I respect your choice to live as you do. If you are going to be bossy with me, I'm going to have to analyze why someone does not trust my choice for me. Have I projected something out of right relationship with myself to coax my government into making a choice on my behalf? Why is my mom and exception? Oh, because love. If you love me and want me to get the vaccine, let's talk, in love. Don't bully me though! I'm sensitive.
We all are, even secretly. I think I found my cage. I fly around it, and don't ever shut the door. That means I'm free, but it is possible to be trapped. I just need to keep my mind clear in these times of big choice. I'm only clear about what's now, and not about what's later. If you ask me about something in the future and don't hear a reply, it's because I don't know yet. Can we be silent and project that we aren't ignoring, but have yet to decide? My comfort level with that very topic is stretching as, ones in my life who I love aren't speaking now. I think they will again, but I just asked big things to my people. So, I wait, and not rush them. I love them though, so what ever their decisions are, I will say yes! Do that! I'm still gonna do this though.
Love you, K, Bye.
Well, we did one, a cycle through a class. Fifteen people came, and we had a. Like, we had no idea what was happening. We could only really know so much, as we always do in life. You make plans for things, and it just unfolds the way it does. And, it was incredible, it was just, we didn't know why. We had no idea, and it was four days ago now, that I can start to see, why. Why it was we didn't know. It was mostly because, it was our first formation to it. I say a broad we because it was my two co hosts, Tayama, Barb and I. Also the group, including a drunk person. And, spirit realm. We don't really say come one, come all for nothing I guess. So, the drunk person had a lot of questions and, a couple might have been a bit insulting when the group session wasn't actually about answering the questions. The questions are welcome though. The answers were not. I am not in the game of answering questions. Especially the big ones. Why are we here? Who are spirit guides? I think I know sometimes, but my inner world is full of surprises on a good day. So to start answering big questions.... but, like I said. They are surely welcome.
My honest answer is, "Right?"
Because, who are we? And how do we know what we are headed toward? I think it's within our dreams. And, our choices, as I always say. The choice to show up drunk to a guided meditation and ask bold questions. The choice to commit to not answering, and still lead a call that is filled with question marks. I believe it cajolted something within us, if that is even a word. That we can indeed explore our inner realm in deep connected repatterning. To a higher and broader sense of ourselves. I can't commit to saying I know it. When you ask, what is Gaia realm, I'm going to ask you to speak to her yourself. You might not see her the way I do. You might see something or someone completely different. But, I am sure curious to see that too. Are we creating ourselves or being created? Both. That, I will say with confidence. But, come to my class and ask me bold questions and I will say, why don't you take silence with me and listen. That is what I'm doing, and I am inviting you to the silence. To hold your own heartspace, not mine. But, I will share mine if you can't find your own. I will share your prayers to and ask for them. We share consciousness and one mind. One soul. When we do this together, I have to say, it was mindblowing. The after math was a deep healing into a realm of possibility. I believe we all have choice to go as deep or shallow within it. My channeled offerings are just that. An invitation to find the space of silence. And when you find it's not so silent after all, I'll say. "Right?"
Self discover is an ongoing mission and the bravest of us will continue with the questions, and not clench too hard to the answers. We wouldn't want to cut off that growth. We wouldn't want to want, to not continue. We must in fact. That was the only other thing I might claim to know. We move on. And up. But, it might feel hard at times when we're moving through something. I trust that on the other side of that wall, is your gifts. More of them if you already know them. As I journey deeper and wider, I am finding out more about myself. My ability to receive. My ability to love myself and others no matter what. And that wasn't always easy for me. It was easier to walk away when things went quiet. Confusion sets in, and then, I walk away. But, what if we stay, and remember. Oh yeah, I was confused before too. Maybe it's ok. Maybe it is part of the growth dream. How do we grow? Through confusion toward clarity. The forgiveness method is my book. It is now being published. I know that a lot of it is about confusion, and so, I just know that.
I know I'm confused a lot. I know it isn't always a good day for me to share, because I might speak from confusion. That might be a lot. And, I might also say, I need space to hold with other in that. I want to create places where we can be confused and say it, then move together with our intentions, toward a right mind. Healthy choices from clarity. Choices made from confusion scream ego. Choices made with clarity ease the ego and allow for its health. I always thought, what about the ego? Are we really supposed to erase it? Or, can we corral it into health? Our egos are actually limitless, and our perceptions of our patterns are the things that destruct that ability to reach upward. What if we help the ego learn that the higher choice is the best one, and it can decide what day, what colour, what print, what make, what model. The clear ego can make everything better. With a spiritual clear choice, to learn a new skill, the ego can decide, which school. How to get to school on time. Which choices, from which places in us? The choice to stay small is not an ego choice, it is the ego listening to the subconscious patterning. Clear that, and choose up. Then what? A bunch more questions show up. To what end?
I'm not sure. Let me know if you find it. Curious.
I'm about to want more. Get ready. Every time I want something more in my life, the world needs to turn into something new for me. I've started to realize this, and when things get edgy, or I feel inexplicably stressed, I am learning a new pattern that needs to shift my life, so I can learn to trust the choices I'm about to be offered. This is my revolution. It is how I have created in the past too, but I just only recently found clarity about that. With deepest intention and reverence for scouring the universe within, I think I am able to explain it. It might take a while to learn it, so I share often. Also, you're not really learning, but rather, becoming aware of what already is, so you can take speed in your own recovery. Or manifest a large dream. It's both. But, with big choices, you need time to draw that toward you. So, you might also need rest. Manifest, rest. That is kind of the big picture. Until the right moment. Then push. Hard. I guess it's like childbirth. Everything is cuing to the right moment. I am indeed in rest mode, but my hobbies just happen to be my career. So, I post and draw. I wrote a book. I'm editing it to publish. This is rest mode. I'm preparing for something to take place and then again. A retreat. It is online for now as the world is still recovering, but it has become everything to me. My friend Tayama is part owner. We have shared it often and the consistency is that the healing is remarkable. We can only keep up with the life that it already is. Please inquire about my book, and my class. We are booking people for the modality through one hour classes. They are group sessions that are guided through channeled messages. And Tayama is offering her breath molecule. These two practises drop us deep into our own DMT realms where we are gifted the guidance and healing we need to manifest our bigger horizons. We have one nearing at the end of this month. The groups will decide the hour and date precisely. Note that these will be held monthly, and the more often you are encouraged, the deeper and wider the healing will become. At first you may not understand the work, but fear not. It is based in love and gentleness. We have found how strong gentle can actually be. From there, the cost is sliding scale, $80-$100. Reach out to myself or Tayama with questions. Let us know who you want to be. Which relationships you want to enliven. Enrichen. Which patterns need to leave and which gifts need highlighting. And if you don't know but feel the need to, allow the channeling session to highlight that and make way for the good stuff. Deep clearing and resentment perceptions fall away to leave you shiny and smiling. Sometimes you need a flashlight to shine the path a moment, and when we shine all ours together, the path way becomes a celebration. Call us up, we are ready. We are only growing deep and wide, in a new world where people want to share and experience more awesome, more love, more prosperity. These channeled sessions aren't specific guidance to your choices, they are an empowerment modality that help you see them yourself. Or, learn to create new choices through deep repatterning. The way we learn is through subconscious patterns, so you only need to take into account what beliefs you have now, and which would serve you well for you dreams.
We got the power!
Since I'm an author, I'm getting used to saying things that I find, deep within my inner construct. I believe it would have value, if only to myself, to share my truth and then write it. Maybe you'll feel something similar. Maybe these words will help in some way, help you feel connected to your humanity, the way my fear, and exposing it, helps me stay connected to who and what I am. I'm always wondering about it. Analyzing it. And finding freedom within the fact that it is my fear, that shows me who I am. And who I am not. It is often, what I want to run away from, or to, that offers me the information I need to create the peace and balance again. I think I've figured everything out. Found peace. Learned deep forgiveness, but then, there it goes again; another pendulum swing. So from here, I see that my fear is less scary than I thought it was. Maybe I was hiding behind a pattern about not being free to speak. Maybe the pattern crept up as another pattern that denied my very will to create what I want and feel supported. Is it so wrong to say things that no one else is saying? If you expected something from me and I didn't do or say what you thought, why do I feel so ashamed? How stuck am I in that? How often do I see it? And where do I fall into alignment and away from the shame of being and feeling and acting different? Or maybe everyone acts different and I didn't give myself the time to notice. I am unsure. But, I know this. I can't hide any of myself and if I do, I literally become ill. So, if it helps me stay healthy, might as well publish my book, even if it includes very dramatic secrets that I had uncovered about myself through painful experiences. Probably sounds like a better read anyway. Sigh. Well, then, if that is what makes my life easier, so be it. Let me become that girl that says everything for once. Just get used to it, okay? Alright. And as for my new structure, I think others will feel better too. Maybe give us all some peace of mind to hear that despite my knowledge of the depths, I kind of have no idea what the heck is about to resolve. I have future predictions a lot, and I know others want to hear their future in my readings. However, it is almost never what I give. Or, rather, what I am given to show to the client. It is always a resolution to a choice. And, if that is the way we create the future, then so be it. Use your choices wisely. Make bigger ones. And if you can't see a better or bigger horizon with the choices you see before you, wait and see what can be created through prayer and intention. We are in a big manifestation system all the time. If you don't like what you hold, pick up some new cards. I'm not saying this lightly, I actually did that. It was not easy. You can't have a huge debt and then make one choice to richness. Well, I couldn't. You have to start creating the new pattern to align to that choice in the future. So, you will need to analyze what beliefs you will want to change to open to a new potential. If you ask me, what is my future? I will say to you, what do you want?
And so on. I love this rule, this way of humanity. It gives us back our empowerment if we choose it. It isn't easy but maybe in time, it will be, when we start choosing up, eventually we are going up from up. That sounds like a nice future from my gaze.
I'm open to this conversation just as my books are open to one on one explorations to this very nature inside you. Drawing techniques for a new timeline, is what I see. Let us draw up a beautiful continuation to humanities misfortunes, and an even bolder tomorrow using strong choices that include everyone. It has to be everyone, because you are that. I am you. I missed my sister so much until I got her back in my life. And I felt I had been missing a part of me.
I love her and you. I love me. This is us people, we are the ones we've been waiting for.
I had a bit of trouble lately, so why not air that out for you all to read? So, there I was, in a place known as forever, and I couldn't help but notice how terrible I had been treating myself, behind closed doors. Things just unfold, you know? And it's almost not until hindsight that you can look beyond or behind you, or both in this case and say... Oops. Sorry self, for all that terribly unconstructive, deconstructive, humiliating self judgement. Anyone else with me on this? I mean, who says things like this to themselves? I think I don't know where I put my faith, when I'm terrible inside my head. I think I forget that I am a part of everything that exists, when I'm forcing myself into a corner. I thought it wasn't my fault. "Hey, God must have MADE me this way." Now I see, it was kinda, me. It was totally me! Also, that place I like to put my faith and listen, is also me, so if I can generate enough awareness that I still need to learn, then I can see, that rough place was just, me learning, something. Something big. I learned that, through hardship, we can see where we are trying to shine. I was shy. Wanted to speak. That one's easy, but, what about when I'm deeply alone in every sense? Trying to be with people? Or! Trying to release my patterns of depression so I can actually enjoy people. For me, that was it. So, I sat, literally, for hours, days, months and years. Two years of solid inner contemplation. Almost. I still had friends, but rarely. I still accomplished work, but it was changing. I needed to change for real this time, and not go back. I needed for the pendulum swing to not swing. To stop, for long enough to recharge to the Kingdom within. Because, inside that castle, pendulums are swinging for another reason all together. The other reason is for vision. For quest. For sharing, and for art. My old pendulum swung from depression to anger. To settle to, inner contemplation. How brave when you're trying to learn that inner worlds speak volumes, louder than outside projections. And then, once that plan solidified, projection is from peace. Wow. Not only wow, but, wait. Wait, because, for me, waiting was good. Okay, so I was alone a lot and even when people were near. I was alone in my deprivation for a reason. For a strong reason that if I released myself willingly, I could join the tribe again and feel honourable. Not exiled. It was my own exile of course, no one to blame. Most won't even have seen it, I hid it so well. But, I want to share it for the reason that it meant so much to me to come back out of it, and see the Kingdom all around me too. The world of finance, healthy, or healing. The trucks and the pollution, through a different lens. That we still need to cherish ourselves from our states of imperfection or, that pendulum is going to want to swing again. And again until you see, I see, we see, that we are in this thing together. Spirit, family alliance, friendships, clients, ancestry, and animal realms, I need you all. To be a part of my vision. For art. For wealth, and for fun. Spirit is fun. Art, fun. You, me together, laughing in a day just like forever, call it what you will, but I see newness. I see clarity and vision. I see our ancestors worked hard on this reality to give it to us. And to forgive ourselves for how that unfolded is now. And the trucks and the pollution can stay, for now, because my trigger will be someone else's goal. What to repattern in a world that seems to unfold anyway? I can only change my perception and judgement of all that, and become what I see as better. And with no one else to blame, that is going to cause a deep sense of worth in my life. For me. Projecting self worth and prayer, is my dream. If that is my own reality, then let another have their own. Freedom is my peace and choice. Freedom to change myself and have a voice. Freedom to speak from here and there, and freedom to teach what I have seen through art. Through poetry and written word. Freedom of speech is my new found freedom, and I didn't see that coming, so what is next? Next might be, a trip to the island to see my long lost love. Or a dance with my sister in some way. Who knows? I don't, but I will when I get there. Alignment to what ever choice is right now is freedom. The realization that there is no crime in not knowing where to go from here. Don't I know it, I needed courage to walk into the abyss for a while. Sometimes courage is all you can do. Sometimes you have no other way. You can't go back, so courage would be your only choice. If your life wants to make it that obvious, then, well I choose to hear that. And go into it. Difficult, yes. Easy just after too. Guidance will have to show us through that pain to find the gift, not around it. Finding comfort in difficulty is easier when you know the pattern will cease. We can relearn how to pattern ourselves. We can remember. I can do this through channeling and art, but we can all achieve this through our own gifts. We already do. We might just not have noticed. There's my rant for today, but I want to post this to more advantageous and thrilling experiences. So, I choose to be brave once more and say, I also want to align to comfort in thrill. Oh no, I'm about to say something true for me and post it. Yes, that has fear in my heart, but a healing as well. I choose that for me. To say, here I am, here I stand, I don't know what the hell is happening, but, I sure am curious as to what the hell is next. And, I want to share that we weren't meant to know, by my standards. We were meant to share that we belong to the mystery. We belong to spirit and ancestry. We belong to truth.
I am willing to be frank on my own website. If you will have chosen to look here, then you might understand that I once was not willing to say very much, which as of late has exploded to becoming an author, a poet and a channel. So, it turns out I was finding a voice. The voice. My voice. How happy and relaxing. Well, it also turns out that a lot of my life now is lead by my inner realm, my peace within, my spiritual guidance. Therefore I will be blessed when I move through my pain and into some virtue. The virtue of today will be my talent to draw. To draw my inner world as a virtue, and say it without confliction, and boldly at that. I find that bold holds, as it does with tattoos. Right? So if I say something powerful, will you read it the way I meant it? How gentle can love be when it's demanding attention? Love isn't always gentle when someone needs to be rescued, or a slave to society needs more money but isn't willing to slave. So how will I achieve my goal toward financial freedom and share it? Well, I hope to sell my poetry. I believe the rights to it are ongoing.
I shall like to sell my art, my custom tattoos again, in time. I want to do it all but without the burnout this time. That was rough. I didn't fare well working in a world where burn out is normal. So I won't do that. Spiritual guidance will call to some better idea, that I'm not used to. That I don't understand, so I trust and go for it. As I write this post I will something toward me using talent in return. Shouting proudly from the mountain tops, I want to live with my sister Jenna in Nanaimo a while, and travel to Vancouver to work alongside the Rainfire team. It is the nicest part of life, living with a sibling when you're old enough to appreciate it. And we have so much life to go. We weren't close until recently, a 16 year age gap left a large part of our lives in separation. For no reason other than my rambling ways and her youth. I would love to say we were close but, now that we are back together in our adulthood, well it didn't seem to skip a beat. So, I want to live there and work online as an oracle, and with the wind in my sails, work once monthly at Rainfire. This will allow for the timeline of rest and art. As if art wasn't there already, but I mean it. I paint from the place I channel. I draw from there too, and I need space for that. No more healing, just free to live again. This is one piece I would love to dedicate to the spirit of family. The choice would be to tattoo it in Vancouver. April would be best. On the wings of doves, carry them to me, the ones with hearts that align to truth. From there let's dance with legacy. One more thing to add, I want to speak to you in a gift beforehand if you choose this piece in Vancouver. I will add in a commission to my work as a healer and give you a free online session. This can be a phone call or skype and will help heal any wounds you might be tending to, emotionally, spiritually, or within art. Become a written document to your own inner truth and from there we stay in the sidelines, working toward a happier future and blessing the ground around us as we walk free. Triumph and sanity can go hand in hand if we rest and work when it's right. I'm only just learning that so, don't quote me yet, but I'll tell you how it goes.
Be well, dear hearts, it's a long journey home.
Well, there we have it. All the love in the entire universe and only one way out. Through. Through the cosmic mess and into oblivion. Through where you thought you wanted to be, and where you have come to, for now. And to what extent? Where are we off to? There seems to want to be some common goal. Well, to put that to shame, I can't see it. What I really want or where I'm headed. I know what I want right now, but as for tomorrow? I can kind of guess. I sort of know what I will want. Ish. Ish, meaning I knowish. I wantish. I think I want that unless you tell me a better thing I might have.
Except, with love. I don't want a better you. Or a better me, really. I think I do sometimes when I'm sick or upset. Or I think I could have done better. But, I wouldn't want to change you, or me. I'd rather just speak of peace and from truth. I'd rather just share more of what I do want and go on from here. If we can't really control anything, and just need to choose again, then, why not rest into it, and relax. Hope for the best and reach for it constantly. Then, when whatever happens takes shape, you'll know it's what was meant for you. So, instead of struggling to be consistent, I'd rather be bold. And if you want to speak up, I would love to hear it! Because I want to be heard. And seen. For the parts of me that I love. I think that might mean loving and showing the parts I've been trying to hide. If I'm bold and you don't want to hear it, then I hope you run and hide. Because I will not back down.
I love what everyone wants the most, really. I love for you what you love for you. I will not bash down your door with my love. But if I love you enough and you're hiding, I might. But, I'll bring you a smile or your favourite dessert. If you want company in your mess, why not reach out? Why not be willing to? And for that matter, why not reach out to someone who isn't willing that you know needs a friend? Are they going to respond? Maybe not, but at least they know you're there. For when they do want a hug. And. For my last scenario, I was the friend who wanted to run and hide, but now I've flipped my switch. To being the instigator of love. Which side is better? They're both lonely.
At least we have forever to figure this out. And at least I can trust that I won't hide this time. That the sun will come out and shine again. If there is truth in it, it will become real.
For some who were not hiding, this won't be true. But for me, I'm just coming out of hiding to see a hiding world. And, I want to create a balance within that. So if I use my voice in strength, maybe someone else will want to hang out. To see what we can do with love today. To see how we want our vision this time. And to stand around and laugh about our bigger cosmic aspects. That we came here to dance, and not fight. So let the dance begin and cause such a stir that it becomes loud with laughter. Let's cause our cues to become, sshhh be quiet I've had enough fun for today, rather than, I hate what I've become and need to drink and hide. That was me for a while, and now I want to say this one more thing.
I wanted you there with me, more than you'll ever know.
I woke up this morning in disguise as a mother who is terrified. The day is young, I woke up before 4am. My guides are saying, sit and write. It's the last thing I want to do. I'd rather run to something or somewhere. It's like I had a bad dream and it didn't go away. For reference of what happened last night, I received an open heart prayer. A nidra yoga repatterning exercise. It was beautifully lead by my friend and co-talent, Tayama. Her words hit my soul. And now I am this. But she still has no idea what she did. I don't seem to know either. All I can say is what I do know. During a yoga nidra channeling, you will receive a sankalpa, which is a new belief that serves your unity in some way. It is a very relaxing way to pray and meditate in a group. I remember another time, it was just this powerful, but it took its time. This day, I feel it worked all at once. So I woke up as though I was dying, or had lost something that I thought I had loved. Very intense morning. I am learning so much newness that my old tendencies are almost gone. I don't really claim to see any part of me that I was. I want to write this here, to make it so. As though words, when read by others will help manifest a thing. My manifestation is that I need a home. I want to live with my sister, and to afford that I need to write and sell art. I love these words because it frees me of any sense of unworthiness to a task ahead. There is no right or wrong in this world? Well I choose to struggle for nothing. If you have time to read my written content then allow me to offer you something. A page from my deepest collection. My newsletter is going to reach all those who've signed up, and in it, I will be offering a guided class, hosting the talent of many authors of light. Saints and spirit guides are beckoning the recognition of art as mastery through me. I have chosen it too. What that actually means is I want to teach a class, and I want to call it, Finding your way home through art.
I've learned about ancient esoteric imagery and how it can speak to you while you draw or paint. And the reason it holds so much strength is that this imagery is already everywhere. If you can tap into what jumps out to you already, then you'll start to see patterns in your life. It's not all that 'out there' as it may sound. It poses strength to irony.
Having said that, that is why I woke up feeling like a mother without a place. I have something I want to share, this creation and I need to have a place for it.
Feel into that, and help me see what is next.
Hello, I want to write about my way of life. I have encountered it in the last few years, maybe a decade. It took that long to become, what I am, as far as an entrepreneur of light. I offer my legacy as a channel to those in need of a spiritual touch. And the rest that follows a session can be incredible. Rest is a deep association to my way of existing. It must be so, otherwise you might not come from the trance of truth. In any case that I feel stressed, or overwhelm, or burdensome in some form, I would need to reset. So I do that often. Sometimes it takes a day if I've been at it a while. But for the most part, it takes a moment, here or there to create the web of approval back to my heart space. If something feels out of alignment, it's just, realigned. Here's why. We have a gift, humans, all of us do. We have the ability to grow. To achieve more. And to want it. We want to grow more happy, more loved. We want more peace and we also need more, things. More stuff, clothes for a better wardrobe. Food for a better habit. Life costs things. It has no cost if you let it be from heart space. As though, the money would come to you for the things when your heart is full. But, if your heart is still full, then you will need to empty it. The things that are emptied become what you offer. So, sometimes there's work and sometimes there's rest, depending on if you're heart is full. At present, my heart is very full, so it's spilling out the sides a little. I'm also trying to attract attention to it so people will want to share the offerings. I am going to post this to instagram and see what happens.
Feel free to reply.
I haven't received some blasphemous excuse to say something until it's said. Then I have no reason to wish anything except that it's seen. Why do I wish it to be seen even though I don't know why? The mystery schools showed up. In my life. Telling me what is better for me. So I listened. And it was. And now I think I want to share it. Because the mystery schools carry wisdom and never shame. So I wanted more. I love truth. So much. So much that I cry. I cry when I hear this sonnet. I cry when a child is born and can't live and I cry when I feel heartbreak that doesn't go away about it. It never goes away. The heartbreak of what happened to the child, and the feeling of blood curdling truth. All of it. I used to picture the mystery schools as some occult room where death is toiled. But now I see its ancestry and imagery. Pyramids built on top of divine reckless endeavours. As though there was something holding it all up. What holds what up? And who tends to the child who couldn't see their life through? It's us. It's all us. We did all of it. We are the wisdom in the mystery school, and the child lives on somewhere within that.
As I know these blogs will only get bolder, I want to warn you that this is not the hottest topic I will relate. I'm just working up to more compassion. More love to what's real here. And more saintly humans that walk around, kissing the ground we've been given.
My prayer for more is here.
I also pray, even more deeply, that the child is free to live.
Opening up to see the light.
Dear ones, this will have been my first blog post of many. I hope it suits you well to know that, at this time, I am in Kitsilano, Vancouver. I am beginning again. I will be sending out a newsletter often, so if you had signed up for Alana the tattoo artist, know now that it is remaining, but also alongside Alana the channel.
I will also say that, for some time, I have been procrastinating my blog till now! So come one come all and feel what I have been privileged to have learned. It is continual as well, so check in often for new content.
Here is what I will describe for day 1. Business as usual, I was up before the sun came up, channeling and singing into what is to come.
My vision is this. A set of agreements to myself that I will,
1) Speak up
2) Say it with heart
3) Invite others to comment as well
4) Conclude that there will be, no conclusion to these never ending tides.
From there, I begin.
Today is not only the first day of my blog, but also the first day I will publish it. No surprise to me, I have no idea how this will be done. I guess I'm about to see.
Thank you to the spirit realm, and guides Saint Francis Assisi for my deep lesson today in the tricks the minds can play when the heart isn't watching.
The heart is not always watching, you see. But it is always aware of something. Today my heart wanted me to play deeper, challenge softer. And speak more. Today is the day I start.
And since I have already begun much before this new website has, there will be a lot to unfold.
For now I leave you with this prayer.
Have heart, dear traveller, that you are the one you need the most. Never regret the past, for it has brought you the present, and will assist in your future. Never deny your short comings, for they may be the path toward your rareness. Your uniqueness is always a gift, no matter how brave you have yet to be.
In Light, yours,
St. Francis Assisi